My life in Niscort.....(Shity Songs)..wateva

Last week i wrote a song, and all the time i was writing it I thought it was good song but when it was finished  and i had read it through, I found that there was something missing, that it didnt ring true. So, I tore it up, Then again i thought of composing different songs about the conditions and my situations im holding right now. Here it goes.......

1.Far away from my hometown, 

came to a place (Niscort) to learn new things.

But things doesnt goes well as i expected,

Everybody knows what's goin on.

But doesnt change the way i feel about myself.

        Cho:-Do you know how much I blame myself,

                 Can you realised that,

                 Don't really need your advice at all.

                 Myself already knows i'm not okay.

2. I played and composed songs for a project hell,

But mom doesn't mean that I'm antichrist.

I take a drugs to get a funny feeling,

Stop calling me retard, its my own way.

Cho:-

3. I'm single right now, but doesnt need other chicks 

to bring me down,

No fallin in love till ma dreams come true.

I dont have time for psychological romance,

Bitch, I am sick when you are around.

Cho:-

#GOD, WHY ME?

I HATE MYSELF, PLZ LEAVE ME ALONE.

-Oh, oh Hmmm....(Fade out)....

Well im nearly done with the song, not sure why im finishing it, but i am. I play it when i cant concenctrate, to pass time, and i still am not annoyed by what i have. thats good. lately ive been saying alot of incomplete thoughts, i have no idea why. so i think if i add to it right now, then it will sound incomplete, for lack of a better word.

The other  song is also almost done, i just need to go over it and kind of just polish it, make it a little better, maybe work on a couple of verses but its playable so thats good, i think i will finally get to complete an entire song.

Tribute to my brother Francis (Lalmuankim)

Now that Muankim is dead, I suppose it is not too treacherous of me to write about him, He was older than me in almost 6 years. He died in a village near Aizawl,Mizoram. It is supposed to be in very bad taste to discuss a person behind his back, and to discuss a dead person behind his back is most unfair, for he cannot even retaliate. But Muankim had this very weakness of criticyning absent peolple, and it cannot hurt him now, If i do a little to expose his collosal Ego.

Lalmuankim was a fraud all right, but no one knew it. He had beautiful round eyes, a flashing smile and sweet voice, and everyone said he was a charming person. He was certainly charming, but I have found that charming people are seldom sincere. I think i was the only person among his brothers who came anywhere near to being his friend, for he had cultivated a special loneliness of his own, and it was difficult to intrude on it. He was not studying anything in particular, but practised assiduosly on the guitar, thought the only thing he could play fair well was "Don't you cry", Guns N Roses Songs.

Maybe one week before he died, got a phone call from him then he would talk of going to see her mom. He had not seen her mother for couples of years. This was this theme song, he had no friends, he was a failure as a musician, there was no other career open to him. I still remember that when i work in a cafe he came to see me, Muankim who was not very busy, came only once and never again. All they can tell me is that Muankim died of some unknown diseases. I doubt If I will ever know. And I hate him and how much i loved him, or if there was any difference between hating and loving him.

How and Why?

Here again in my liitle room of Niscort Institute, trying to composed another song, but my senior were going to appear their exam on 27th, so cant continue makin songs. So thought of writing some articles for my blog. No one has ever offered me to write a song or articles for my blogs, and so perforce, I must do my own.

Couples of years back, When I first wrote and composed song, I was too shy to approach any of the "greats". Moreover, I thought I was quite capable of standing up without any support. A lot of people have cared for me, So I did it with alot of passion and should that i was really into it. I even sing to it with no problem. I realize that people enjoy it more when you live up to their expectation it even happens to be better once you see the reaction. You will gain some courage like i do. My mistakes dont slow me down because this is what i enjoy and wud like to persue for my future. Met V.G., then started working together, my songs came out well more than i expected in the grace of our heavenly father. There are many other singers and composer, sweeter than I, to sing of tommorow, I can only sing of today, Where i Lived and Loved. I'll never call myself a great composer or a musician, I am just a musician at heart, i couldn't compete with others singers and musicians, i know that i'm not awesome composers or musicians, but i play and composed because the public buys it.

Why and How How I did it:I just let all my feelings explode into my lyrics. I just wrote out all my feelings and formed it into a song. i have written 10 songs so far and they're actually really good. i feel like i can express myself. songs are similiar to poetry, accept more rhyming is required and different meanings are usually implied. With songwriting, you have to be ready to truly express yourself and write your heart out. Being sad, angry, or excited all help you accompish a deeper, more meaningful song. Usually a composer or a poet do their work when they are in underpressure. Real music is music where you pour your heart and soul into it, not a bunch of fancy break up songs. I sit in the darkest corner of the darkened room,i just wrote out all my feelings and formed it into a song. I have written couples of songs so far and they're actually really good. I’ve written a bunch of lyrics, Mom U love music so i put it in a song. Guess you know what I mean?...Indeed the songs and words writing in this blog are testimonial to the many and caring people i have ever known over the year.